Category Archives: Love

The Essence of Me



No more tears for missing yesterdays
I can't change what was and what is.
I look in and know the only me.

This one I see. Work on it.

I checked it. Such hurt and sorrow.
Deep pain and hurt show in the lines
and grooves of aging face.

That's just the surface.
What lies beneath?

The essence of me you cannot see.
it exist inside where I keep
her hidden afraid of hurt.

I want her to shine, to experience
the joys of life, love and happiness,
of so many years gone by.

The memories are fading now. The
glowing light is dimming.

Reaching for the crumpled up papers
scribbled are my dreams and hopes
of a brighter tomorrow, words fading
on the yellowing paper.

I read them and hold them as if they
are a lifeline to remind me that
it still exist. It's not on the
face I see in the mirror..the eyes
have shed a thousand tears; the hands
have wiped them away at night.
It's inside; the soul and essence
of me.

The part of me that holds
the light of my being.

Courage of Our Conviction – HEAL THE WORLD

As we approach the second anniversary of Michael’s passing, we have a choice. A choice to make good on Michael’s message: Heal the World. It sounds so simple, yet very complex. It’s a big job. In the song Heal the World, the words Michael sing tell us to ‘Heal the World, make it a better place, for you and me and the entire human race.’  Well, I don’t know about you, but for me that is a VERY LARGE order. If you can imagine there are how many billions of people in the world. Alone, he tried to do it. When we look back at his efforts, each time he visited a country during his concerts on a world tour by visiting the sick children in hospitals and orphanages, trying to make their lives a little better. The proceeds from those concerts were given away to them. Which tells me a lot about who he was as a person?

It makes me think about this quote from him:

“I don’t wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.” – Michael Jackson

Can it get any better than that?  So, yes, we have big shoes to fill. That’s a pretty tall order. Heal the World.

Michael was no slouch. He had courage of conviction in everything he did. He was a perfectionist. In his art, his music. From what I have learned while reading and studying for the last two years, he stayed in the studio and kept perfecting until it was just right. Michael was known to sing an entire song for someone (all parts of the song), so everyone would know exactly which notes he wanted. That was the perfectionist in him.

I’m never pleased with anything; I’m a perfectionist, its part of who I am.

Michael Jackson

It wasn’t a way of being ‘I know better than you’; it was just his way of this is how he heard it in his head. He was a musical genius. There is no one to compare him to.  When Michael performed onstage, it had to be one of the most electrifying experiences to watch. He may have been shy and reserved offstage, but the stage belonged to him. If you ask me, the stage was his muse. Michael left everything on that stage. He gave you all of himself. Everything he had in every performance. Look at the pictures of him taken when he was done and you can see in face the fatigue. He gave to his fans a piece of his soul…each and every time. There is no doubt as to why he was so loved. Michael was doing what he loved. He would have done this everyday if he could I believe. In his words: ‘Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough’ Michael Jackson.

The truest joy in his life was his children. I don’t want to take up much time here because I think they are off-limits. I just want to say that they are beautiful. I am happy that the three of them came into his life to bring him some much-needed happiness for one bright shining moment he needed. Thank you Prince, Paris and Blanket for the joy you gave your father.

The people who set out to destroy Michael for whatever reason killed him long before he died. If I was going to pick a date, I guess I would go back in history and start with when his star began to rise. Now far be it from me to play the race card, but we live in the real world. Here is a man of African-American descent who has an extraordinary musical talent. Is it a gift from God? I would have to say yes. He is loved by many from all over the world. It is rising fast.  He is able to do things that most cannot do. He begins his career with his five brothers and then sets out on his own and it rises even further. Then the unthinkable happens: He gives his money away to charity. Why? He feels blessed? Michael’s heart was in the right place. If most of these people had taken the time to read Michael’s history from a young age, they would have known this about him. He was always this person. This was who he was.

After Michael purchased the ATV catalog, his life was never the same. The music of the Beatles was in this catalog. Paul McCartney had a chance to buy it but didn’t. This is not Michael’s fault.

In 1993, Michael’s life changed forever. I don’t need to go into details. We all know the story.

Michael’s Message: Heal the World on the second anniversary of his death rings more true now than ever.  There is so much going on in our MJ Community. One thing is for certain, we need to come together and heal as one. We need to stop fighting each other and bashing each other.  You can’t heal the world and cut down the person standing next to you (I am just as guilty as the next). I can’t say I love you Michael, then cut down someone else out of the same mouth.

It’s counterproductive.

We may have a difference of opinion, but our global message should be the same, carrying on his message.

I love to post videos and pictures of Michael too. I don’t want to spend June 25th posting videos and mourning him! Why, because, I want it to be a day of action! A day to say to the world that We have had enough of the negativity the world portrays of this kind-hearted person who didn’t deserve the treatment he got. He didn’t deserve the media portrayal that made people believe that is who he was.

If we don’t put aside our differences and stand up for him now, we are going to fail in our attempt to make it right and spend an eternity mourning him. I don’t think Michael wants us to mourn him, but celebrate his life and his accomplishments and Heal the World! We have got to show them the truth. It has to be now! Get up!

Michael’s message was global – Heal the World


Hey, I Still Love You



We can't be friends anymore
Why?
I don't know.
What do you mean.
We just can't.
Oh, I see.
Something wrong ?  No.

I love you. I love you
too.

So what happened? I don't
know. OK.

Are you hurt? No.
Did I cause you pain?
No.
Just because.
Sacrifice.

Sacrifice?

That's it?
Yes.
Why?
I don't know.
Weren't you and
I gonna  change the world?
Together?
Yes. We were.
What happened?

I'm following the
crowd.

Oh, OK.. I see.
OK.  I still love
you.
Take care..

A Reflection in My Heart

I keep hearing your voice;
calling, seeing you, feeling you.
Sometimes not knowing if you are real
or just made up in my mind.
I reach out to touch you and you fade.

I try to focus on the image of you
that I keep seeing in the viewer of
my mind. The scenes that play run
at a fast pace, and my focus is off.
My thoughts won't let me take hold
of just one.

The stillness of the day is almost
gone, and the background is rising up
to keep me from reaching out to find
you again.
Will I see you again?
If you are real, how will I know
for sure? You sing to me in my dreams,
or were you really standing there
singing a melody that is now bonded
forever to my soul.

Healing Love

 

My love is for more than
just the ones who love me
those who love you and
those who do not know love.

For more than they who don't
know love, are they who have not love.
Hearts not opened have not any love
cannot be true to love.

Broken spirits are broken by hurt;
by words and spite.

Troubled by pain and deceit,
They need healing and need love
that we can give by reaching out
with the spirit of our love as one.
Greater than us is love.

Our spirits soar to reach beyond
ourselves to heal the broken hearts
and soul of man with love that is our love.

Shadows of the Past (Silhouette of Dance)

What can I do to stop the tears

that keep falling staining my face?

the anger wells up inside.

What can I do to make my pain lessen,

my heart that leaps from my chest with

every breath I take?

How can I heal from my sadness if all

I can focus on is the hurt that engulfs me daily?

Constantly, day and night.

Shadows of the past dance on my walls in a

symphony of music that is silent in silhouette

as I lay awake and wait for the sun to rise each morning.

Life on Life’s Terms

Sometimes we forget that life will show up no matter what we do. The unexpected always happens, no matter what. My husband is ill right now and was admitted to the hospital last night. How do you cope when the person you love and the one who is your rock is missing from your day-to-day activities?  When you have to leave them in the care of someone else? It’s not easy. When you come home to an empty house or apartment, everything is still. Sometimes, I have imagined what life would be like without all the noise and the hustle and bustle of preparing a meal for someone else, or finding a lost item for my husband that he can’t locate. Those little annoyances that come along with marriage that right now don’t seem to matter. When all is said and done, he is the one that matters to me. My life doesn’t work without him. He is the stability that has seen us through those darkest moments when we had to struggle through some really hard times during the beginnings of our marriage. We each other to lean on, and when one of us is away, it doesn’t all add up. it makes me appreciate what we have even more. My love for him grows even greater.

So, for now since life has shown up, and I know that he needs to be where he is at the moment, we will get through this. I just miss him.

(Apr. 22, 2011)